I’m going to be Dad

From January 31, 2010

It still sounds weird to say it, “I’m going to be a dad!”. Yet, every time the words roll off my tongue it comes out with that same level of enthusiasm. And why shouldn’t it? I’ve waited a long time to say it! Not to dwell on my gloomy past love life too much, but there were times that I seriously believed that I wasn’t going to find anyone. That I was going to be alone (cue the pity party) and never know what it feels like to be a father.

I guess I’m abnormal in that sense—I’m a man who actually wants kids, who embraces the idea of being a family man. Some guys are terrified of commitment to another person, let alone taking on the responsibility of being a parent. But I’ve always had different aspirations. Not because I feel so confident in my parenting abilities, or that I know exactly how to handle what life is about to throw at me. Instead, I focus on the positives that lay out in front of me.

My baby’s first cry, the first time I will hold them in my arms, the first time they look up at me in wonderment, the first smile, and the first laugh…a long list of firsts that will undoubtedly make a lasting impression on me for the rest of my life.

As daunting as all that sounds, and the astronomical costs of food, diapers, and child care, I still welcome this. That’s due to the comfort I take in all of those positives outweighing any negatives that will come my way.

After we got home from the doctor’s appointment that confirmed the pregnancy, the temptation all week to plaster the news on Facebook was strong. I am an avid user of the site, but not to the point where I require access to it on my cellphone so I can have it handy 24/7 to provide juicy tidbits such as “I’m tired”, “I’m bored”, or the ever exciting “Just heading to work”. Still, I do my daily check in and the urge to post even a hint of the big news was tantalizing. But for the sake of our family who are either on there, or have ties to people who are Facebook Friends of ours, we remained silent.

As internet social networking has become more prominent in our society, I’m amazed by users who are flabbergasted by how their privacy is being chipped away. Um, if you post every, thought, political opinion, inner reflection, and some random pic of you drunk at some party, word will spread to everyone including your pastor and your fourth grade homeroom teacher. Family deserves better than finding out via a posting, a twit, or word of mouth. They’re the people who have known you longer than anyone else and they should get the special privilege of being told first before the rest of cyberspace.

The only problem with that was trying to be subtle about it when you approach them. For us, an impromptu visit to my dad’s house during the week stood out like a sore thumb. So did every text message to all of my siblings. Simply asking if they’re free for me to call them is apparently a dead giveaway.

The same was true for my wife when we made a weekend jaunt to go visit her mom. However, in each case, it didn’t really damper the impact of our momentous news. Smiles, hugs, and congratulations were abundant. And it was worthwhile to tell them all first before plastering it on Facebook. Afterwards I also realized how helpful breaking the news was to cementing the reality of my soon-to-be fatherhood.