Our little olive

From February 26, 2010

Patience is a virtue. It is also a father-to-be’s number one asset! Without patience it is easy to fall into the trap of frustration during this period of the pregnancy. Because now your mom-to-be is constantly exhausted. You can tell by the look on her face and the way her shoulders drop, that by early evening the simplest tasks are just a drain of energy. Falling asleep on the couch by seven is a nightly event. And if you’re a couple accustomed to going out and doing things, or even staying in and doing stuff, that has now changed.

If I was a person short on patience, I would have taken this adjustment hard. Instead, I understand its part of the territory. Her hormones are in overdrive, working 24/7 with no break. And the frequent nightly trips to the bathroom cuts into her sleep routine and adds to the fatigue. The pregnancy books say that a woman’s body exerts more energy just sitting on the couch than if I were to workout at the gym all week. I believe it just by looking at her drained face.

They also say, as do all my friends on Facebook, that now is the time for the mood swings. The abrupt change in emotions and the roller coaster ride that is supposed to be thrown at me has yet to materialize though. Apart from a few tears during a commercial for animal adoption (which is nothing new by the way since my wife is a huge animal lover), I really have been spared what others warn me is “psycho bitch” mode.

But even so, the big payoff comes in the form of the first ultrasound visit. We had been anxiously anticipating this moment for what seemed like three agonizingly long weeks. I went in with strong expectations and was nervous that I would be disappointed. After a long consultation with our doctor, filling out pages of paperwork, the ultrasound was arranged for later in the afternoon.

Soon I found myself sitting in a dark room staring intently at every flux and wave of gray splotches projected on the monitor. Is that it? Is that it? I found it odd that this was edge-of-my-seat entertainment. It wasn’t long before my eyes started playing tricks on me seeing “face-like” features in the swirling grey-white ultrasound image.

Eventually the big moment came as the technician focused in on the womb. The image was clear as day, with little need for explanation—inside an oval black spot was the grey-white round outline of a head accompanied by two little arm buds and leg buds sprouting out. And although we could not hear a heartbeat yet, the tech pointed to the center of the embryo and we could see the tiny consistent thumping of the heart.

I’ll admit it; I’m not too proud, or macho to say it…I cried. Tears came streaming down both cheeks as I saw this little tiny life that we created. And as the embryo flinched, I became even more choked up. I wasn’t surprised or ashamed. I knew this was going to happen and even told my wife right after we confirmed the pregnancy that I was going to be wiping the tears away. And I was, with the most enormous smile on my face.