Cats in the Cradle

If you’re familiar with the Harry Chapin song you know that it’s a lyrically poignant and touching song about fatherhood. If you’re not, then check it out and listen closely to the story about a father’s regret about not being around sometimes to watch his son grow up, and then later in the song he laments that his adult son has become just as unavailable as he was for quality time together.

I bring this up because of the eerie coincidence of hearing this song on the radio yesterday as I went to breakfast with my dad. The last few months for him have been a rough go health wise due to his treatment for prostate cancer. After 6 weeks of chemotherapy, which fortunately didn’t have too many side effects other than general fatigue, he concluded his treatment with surgery to implant radioactive seeds that will help shrink his prostrate and eliminate the cancer.

For my brother and me, it’s been nerve-racking to watch. All the while doctors have kept us optimistic and my dad has been in good spirits even through the latest surgical procedure. I took him to the doctor’s office and stayed with him throughout the four hour surgery and recoup time. And then yesterday we topped it off by having breakfast together.

All the while I’ve felt a reinforcement of how fortunate I am to have father like mine. There were times when I was little he would have to go off on business trips, much like the father depicted in the Harry Chapin song, but overall through the years he has been there and been very supportive and invested in my upbringing. I’ve come to understand how much of a rarity that is today amongst my peers. Absent fathers are in abundance, and some goes as far as being completely unavailable and betray marriage vows and the obligations of fatherhood.

I’m lucky that my dad never did. He was a devoted husband for over 50 years until my mom passed away last August. During our quality time he reminisced about some of the places around the world he had been with my mom and I could tell in his words just how much he missed her. But his role as father is still something he cherishes, and that night he called me to thank me for having breakfast with him and everything else I did to be by his side during his ordeal.

“I've long since retired, my son's moved away/I called him up just the other day/
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"/He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time/You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu/But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad/It's been sure nice talking to you"”

In my last blog entry I vented about poor examples of fathering and vowed not to be so negligent. While spending time with my dad it was reaffirmed how I have such a great role model to follow. I also want to make vow to spend more time him. It’s that kind of loving consideration that I hope my son or daughter takes with me someday.